Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
