I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
its liver damage thursday
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize