Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
