We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How does it feel to date your dad?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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