She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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