that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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