i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
