I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
