Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
