I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
