Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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