Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
