she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I have post one night stand depression
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