God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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