shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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