what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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