She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize