watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize