We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
