it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
