wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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