Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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