We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
