Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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