I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
