You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
