apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
