he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
