so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
