If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
