Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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