I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
