Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
