Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
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