Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
