tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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