btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I have peed in a lot of sinks
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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