I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
3 2 1 whiskey
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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