ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
