her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
