i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
