awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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