Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
