There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
