Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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