Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
