I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
