So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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