Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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