Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
