didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize