perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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