Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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