you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
