I need help removing her.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
