I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
