O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
