How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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